i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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