If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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