Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
