he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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