sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
