dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
