physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
