I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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