On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
