I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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