My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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