it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize