I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
