shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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