It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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