apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
