oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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