dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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