I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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