and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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