Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
