i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize