lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
