I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
