i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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