The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
