Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
