i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize