We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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