If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
