we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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