Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
