Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
