take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize