Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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