Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
