Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
