Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
