Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
