I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
