I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
