operation have a gay friend backfired
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it's like iHOP with fire
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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