Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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