so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
