you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
