Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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