i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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