did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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