it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
