Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize