I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Found the puke drawer
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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