You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
