She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
