haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
