All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
