Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
