I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
