The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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