just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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