Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
