"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you never un-have a 4some
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
