I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
