so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
