there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
