she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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