bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
