Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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