Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can I color on your dick again?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize