Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
