Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
