I must be too annoying 4 u.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
