Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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