that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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